


Don't Fuck This Up, Lupin

by blibberinghumdiggory



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Marauders' Era, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, jily, slight angst, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blibberinghumdiggory/pseuds/blibberinghumdiggory
Summary: Snippets of your soulmate's thoughts about you appear written somewhere on your body, they change all the time and are utterly useless.  So when one mess of a Sirius Black and one angsty Remus Lupin get caught up in confusion with their words it takes one completely done Lily Evans (with the slight aid of one adoring James Potter) to sort them out.





	

From a young age, Sirius was told not to pay attention to the writing when it appeared.  His Mother had told him that "No member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black shall even think of that silly tattoo.  It is an unbecoming and plebeian concept, and no son of mine will even attempt to read the words as they appear."  So, Sirius had put it out of mind, mostly.  He was curious, of course he was, but there was no use in pursuing the matter.  His words hadn’t even appeared yet, so there wasn’t anything to worry about.

In fact, Sirius’ words didn’t start to appear until his sixth year at Hogwarts and by that point he had been well versed in the subject of soul-links.  Most of this information had come from James (and confirmed by Remus), who seemed to be rather attached to the concept.  They were very personal, Sirius had learnt, and they were often hidden by people whether they were embarrassing or not, they also tended not to be very useful.  He hadn’t much liked the idea of having something embarrassing etched onto his skin, but James had insisted it was all in the name of true love.

The thing with soul-links was that they were only short snippets of thoughts projected towards the other person.  They cannot be controlled, nor can they be predicted, nor can anyone really be sure who is thinking the thoughts unless it’s something painfully obvious, like Frank’s had been ( _‘I’m partnered with Frank? Now I can copy his Herbology notes. Damn that boy has a fine arse.’_ ).  Evidently, Frank and Alice did make a lovely couple, however bitter Sirius may be about it.  James, the lucky bastard, had had his words since first year.  They were constantly changing, obviously, and mainly consisted of insults (Some of Sirius’ personal favourites being  _‘twat-faced toad-fucker’_  and  _‘wretched cretin of a hairball’_  which had both been on bold display on James’ forearm for several weeks), but he seemed to be pretty jovial about it, and it wasn’t too difficult to figure out which red-headed feisty Gryffindor was on the other end.  Whether she knew it yet or not.

Sirius had a love-hate relationship with his words.  He loved them because of what they symbolised, what once he was taught to hate as a child he now cherished, and the idea that someone out there was perfect for him made him giddy whenever they changed.  However, it also scared the shit out of him.  He had no idea who his supposed soulmate even was.  He must have met them, he must know them, he must see them every day, in his school, in his classes, in the Great Hall, maybe even the common room.  And he didn’t know, he had no idea.  He also had no idea what thoughts _he_ was projecting either, but that was another matter entirely.

“Ah shit,” he hissed as he felt the familiar pinching sensation on the side of his left arm for what was probably the sixth time since breakfast.  And it was only half-way through Potions – the first lesson of the day.  Sighing in frustration, and partial excitement, Sirius turned away from James’ antics for a minute and rolled up his robe sleeve.

_Bloody beautiful wanker...isn’t even paying attention_

Sirius couldn’t help the small smile that tugged on his lips.  Looking around, he found no one watching him, as he already knew would be the case.  His words had held similar characteristics since they had first started appearing at the beginning of his sixth year, only two months ago.  The familiar mix of both insult and compliment never failed to make him smile (they also gave him a tremendous confidence boost, which he didn't really need).

Today had been especially eventful though.  His words had changed from  _‘Ugggghhhh’_  to  _‘Prat’_  to  _‘…oh Merlin his hair’_ to  _‘Damn those eyes’_  and back to  _‘Ugggghhhh’_ just that morning.  Whoever it was seemed to be particularly focused on him lately which, to be honest, Sirius wasn’t sure how to feel about.

He still was no closer to finding out who they were.  He couldn’t think of anyone who he hadn’t already marked off who would think of him like that.  Sirius knew they must be in Gryffindor, because of the near-constant changing of them it had to be someone who spent a lot of time near him.  That didn’t really help though, because Sirius was friends with practically every Gryffindor.  No one looked at him for prolonged amounts of time and none of the words had given him any hints at all.

So, he was at a loss, he had no idea who it was except that it better bloody well be a guy because Sirius Black was possibly the gayest gay who ever did gay and was not planning on shacking up with a girl for the rest of his life.  Because of course that’s what he’s going to do when he finds him (and it better be a  _him_ ) because Sirius, despite his reputation, is a completely hopeless romantic who wants nothing more than to find  _The One_.  However bloody Hufflepuff that may sound.  He hadn’t quite given up trying to find out who they were yet, and it was reassuring to know that they were there somewhere.

He re-focused his attention back to the lesson which, luckily, did not involve any brewing for him to mess up.  Then, he quickly moved his attention back to James, who was doodling L.E on a scrap of parchment again.  Honestly, Sirius thought, that degree of infatuation has got to be unhealthy.  If he just backed away for a bit, Evans would be sure to come running.  Still, that didn’t stop Sirius from going along with his schemes anyway, what were best friends for?  It was Remus’ job to be the logical one.

Sirius had always liked that about Remus, you could always rely on him to know what to do, he was always one step ahead of everyone else and he had a wicked sense of humour which could leave his fellow Marauders in stitches for _days_.  Sirius really felt that Remus was-

James nudged him in the side, evidently halting his ponderings, and whispered, “Did they change again, then?”  Sirius blinked twice before he realised he had been absentmindedly tracing the words on his arm, he hummed in confirmation and showed James.  Strictly speaking your words were very private things, but Sirius had no qualms in showing James; it’s what James had done _every time_ since first year, unless, of course, it was  _too_  personal, then they allowed some secrecy but otherwise their words were always shared with one another.  It doubled his chances of finding his soulmate if James was looking as well.  Two heads were better than one, as Remus always said.

Whilst James was snickering at the words on his arm, Sirius’ thoughts drifted back to the golden-haired lanky boy in front of him.  He was leaning over his parchment and scribbling something down, Remus appeared to be the only other person apart from Evans who was actually listening to Slughorn.  His tongue was poking of the side of his mouth in concentration and Sirius watched as it swiped over his lower lip.  Sirius fell into intense concentration, watching, before he was, yet again, snapped out of his thoughts by James, who this time was telling him the lesson was over and betting that he couldn’t beat him to the Transfiguration classroom.

“Oh you’re on, Prongs!” Sirius replied as he flung his books in his bag and bolted out the door, a laughing James in tow.

  
///

 

“Oh come on Remus, it has to be him!”

Sirius barely had time to hide himself behind the bookshelf so as not to be spotted when he heard the voices. He was in the library, of all places, mainly because he was trying to find Remus to copy those Potions notes.  Well, he had found him alright. Remus was sat at a small desk in the more emptied section of the library with none other than Lily Evans and he looked almost…upset?

Sirius didn’t quite know how to feel about this.  Remus always went to _him_ when he was upset, so why he was turning to Evans – who, yes, he had to acknowledge was one of Remus’ friends – and not him, he didn’t know.  He’d simply have to eavesdrop, for Remus’ own good.

Remus sighed, and Sirius watched as he rubbed his temples like he did whenever he was frustrated. “I don’t know, Lily-,” he said.

“No, Remus listen to me,” her voice was firm, but gentle, how she managed it Sirius didn’t know but he was impressed; dealing with an upset Remus Lupin was not an easy job, “I am about 87% certain that it’s him, I mean, who else calls you- “ she was cut off by Remus suddenly shushing her, much to Sirius’ annoyance.

“Can you maybe not? Anyone could be listening!” Remus whisper-yelled just loud enough that an increasingly guilty Sirius could hear.  He watched them, knowing that he really shouldn’t be there, but not quite able to move.

Evans gave Remus a pitying smile and sighed, “I know, I’m sorry, but Remus, come on.”  
“Yeah I know, I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” Remus replied, and Sirius frowned and tried not to get annoyed, he hated when Remus did that.  Every time he did, Sirius would shake his head and take one of Remus’ hands and tell him he wasn’t pathetic and list all of the reason he could think of that Remus was strong and interesting and resilient.  Even though Sirius knew the words never really sunk in far enough to stay for long, they helped at the time. But he couldn’t help then, because Remus was with Lily and not him, and Sirius didn’t know why.

Sirius watched as Remus buried his face in his hands and let Lily hold him. The yellowish light of the library softened his features and bathed the now frail-looking boy in a golden hue. Sirius couldn’t help but notice the way the light danced on his skin and turned his brown eyes a beautiful shade of amber.

“You could just tell him,” Lily suggested quietly and Sirius had to strain to hear her.  Remus froze. “No, Lily I can’t.”  He was about to complain further, but was cut short by a hiss of pain, his hands darting to his right hip.  Lily’s eyes widened, “It’s changed, what does it say?”

Sirius gaped.  Remus never talked about his words.  They all joked about everyone else’s.  James’ were the centre of most of the talk, and so were Sirius’ as of late, considering they were always changing, even Pete’s, whose words hadn’t yet appeared, but never Remus'.  They had just assumed he hadn’t got them yet, or if he had, that they were extremely private.  But the fact that he had shared them with Lily and not the Marauders made Sirius feel more betrayed than was probably necessary.

He tried not to think too much about it when Remus pulled up a bit of his jumper to reveal his words and Sirius’ eyes most certainly did not linger on skin for longer than was needed because it was the words that were the important part and he was just having some difficulty reading them from so far away.  He heard Remus sigh and Lily mutter something under her breath but barely paid them any attention as his focus was solely on the one word written in elegant script just above Remus’ hip.

 _'Beautiful'_  it had said,  _'beautiful'_.  Sirius didn’t have much time to mull over just why that seemed so important as he heard Lily say something about heading back and decided that he should probably get out of there before he was caught.

  
///

  
When Sirius entered the common room, he was greeted by the loud voice of his best friend as he clapped him on the shoulder.  “Padfoot, where in Godric’s name have you been?  Wormy and I were thinking about setting up an Extreme Exploding Snap Tournament.”

He grinned back at James but strangely found that he didn’t quite feel like joining in.  “Sorry mate, not tonight,” Sirius replied.  James looked disappointed and Sirius tried not to think about it too much because he knew James would understand that, for whatever reason, Sirius just needed to be alone.

Sirius left to the dorms, quickly changed into his pyjamas, curled into his covers, and sighed.  He didn’t know why, but he felt weighed down all of a sudden, like he was teetering on the edge and the smallest of things could tip him off the edge and he’d fall into nothingness.  He was scared, and he wasn’t sure what of.  Sirius fell asleep tracing the new words that had just appeared,  _'I hope he’s okay'_ , offering the little bit of comfort that he needed to drift off to sleep.

  
///

  
A week passed since overhearing Remus and Evans in the library and Sirius was still in a strange mood.  Even Pete had picked up on it by now, and that meant it was serious.  He had avoided all of James’ not-so-subtle attempts to get him to talk so far, meaning the messy-haired boy had reverted to familiar forms of comfort in the way of small smiles and ridiculous jokes to get him to laugh.  His McGonagall impression, Sirius had learned, was terrifyingly accurate.  But despite all of James’ attempts to cheer him up, Sirius was still not quite feeling like his usual self.

Remus had noticed too, obviously, but since that night, Sirius had been distancing himself from him.  It was ridiculous and there was no sense in it, but there was something off about the whole thing and Sirius was irritated.  That was something else Remus had noticed, which meant he was spending more time with Evans as a result.  Which confusingly made Sirius more annoyed, even though he was the one avoiding Remus in the first place.  Overall, he felt betrayed, he probably shouldn't, but there was something Remus wasn't telling him and that hurt.  It was all very puzzling and nobody – especially not Sirius – knew what was really going on.

Sirius’ words hadn’t changed since that night a week ago, whether that was because they remained the same thought or because the person was no longer thinking about him, he wasn’t sure.

He was sat in the Great Hall eating dinner with James and Pete when Pete asked him if he was alright, and he’d sort of burst, a bit.

“Yes, I am fine, Wormy,” he had replied angrily, “Keep out of it.”

“But you and Re- ,“ Pete had started, but was cut off by Sirius’ insistence that he was most definitely absolutely fine, so fine in fact that he was just going to make out with that cute Ravenclaw boy over there since he also seemed very fine.  Sirius had then proceeded to storm out of the Hall where the cute boy had just left before going in a completely different direction and hiding under his blankets in Gryffindor Tower.

Truth be told he really missed Remus.  Even if it had only been a week, and he had seen him every day, and been around other people who were talking to him, and kind of watched him a lot, he still missed him.  He missed him because it’s  _Moony_ , and of course he missed Moony, because it’s  _Moony_.  He couldn’t explain it in any other words than Moony, because Moony is just brilliant.  He’s funny and intelligent and loyal and kind and warm and adorable and complicated and interesting and strong and, Sirius thought, I love that about him; I love _him_.

Sirius sat bolt upright, flinging the covers and a stray sock off him and onto the littered floor.  He  _what?_

  
///

  
Down in the Great Hall, Remus took his seat beside Pete and Lily.  Lily was just asking where Sirius had run off to when Remus felt his hip sting.  He gasped and dropped the spoon in his hand, but the pain soon faded.

“What’s up mate?” James asked, but Lily was already on it.  “It’s changed again?” It was more of a statement than a question, but Remus nodded anyway.  “You mean your words? You never told us you had them,” James sounded hurt, but Remus didn’t have time to feel guilty because Lily was pulling at the jumper beneath his robes.  Ignoring James’ wide-eyed stare-glare, Remus asked, “What does it say?”  The angle was a bit awkward to read by himself.

Lily gasped, and softly read,  _‘He’s funny and intelligent and loyal and kind and warm and adorable and_ _complicated and interesting and strong and I lov-‘_

“What? What does it say after that?” James demanded as Remus tried to process the words.  Lily shook her head, “That’s it.”

“What do you mean  _‘that’s it’_ , it just cuts off there!” She nodded solemnly and turned to Remus who was as white as a sheet.

“He- ,“ he started.

“Yeah…,” Lily answered by way of some sort of telepathic understanding.

Remus had had his words since third year, but hadn't ever told anyone besides Lily about them because, well, because he had figured out pretty quickly who it was.  He knew deep down, but still denied it.  Remus had never thought that the other boy would realise.  Or at least, he had hoped he wouldn't.

It was very rare for werewolves to have matching soul marks.  Where most witches and wizards are very likely to match, a werewolf’s chances are close to none.  So, he’d kept it quiet.  Lily only finding out after she’d forced it out of him one particularly bad night.  Remus had never dreamed that his feelings were anything other than unrequited.  Ever since they’d come back from summer, Lily had been insisting that they matched and that he felt the same way, but Remus had been reluctant to believe her.

James was wholly confused, and Pete was too distracted by dessert arriving to care.  “But he doesn’t-, “ Remus started, and was yet again interrupted by Lily, who was now beaming at him, “Well he obviously bloody well does!”

Remus gulped.

“Wait.  Who are we talking about here?” James asked, well and truly out of the loop.  Lily rolled her eyes at him, “Black, obviously,” she said dismissively.  She turned to Remus as he spluttered at her in indignation.

“Now, what did you do to him?” James looked affronted, “ _Me?_  I didn’t do anything, it was Pete who asked if he was okay.  And what about Pads? You don’t mean he- and Moony- you - wait - what? - _no_ \- Merlin that makes so much sense...”

Lily rolled her eyes at him, again, “Articulate as always, Potter.  Now.  Where.  Is.  He?  We need to find him so that the two harpies can confess their undying love.”  Remus huffed at her and sipped at his tea, ignoring his shaking hands, “It’s not going to happen, Lily.”

“Now, now, Remus that is no way to treat our Lily-flower,” James scolded as he took a bite of a biscuit and ignored Lily’s growling, “and he’s probably just pacing in the dorm.”  Lily growled some more at him before she yanked Remus out of his seat, almost spilling his tea, and marched him out the door.  “Come  _on_  Remus!” Lily demanded as she purposefully ignored his protests and continued to drag him.

James sighed and nudged Pete in the elbow, grinning at the door Lily had just exited through, “I’m going to marry that girl, Wormy,” he whispered.  He was so absorbed in his trance that he didn’t even acknowledge Pete’s snort of amusement in favour of daydreaming about dark red hair and porcelain skin.

  
///

  
“Now Lily, I really don’t think that- oof!” Remus was shoved through the door, landing on his arse, and heard the lock click on the other side.  “You’ll thank me later, Lupin,” she replied from the outside as she retreated downstairs.  He huffed in disbelief and swore to hex that girl next time he saw her.  In fact, he was just deciding between green hair and a snout when he heard a broken whisper, “Moony?”

Remus froze.  James was right then, of course he was.  If Lily hadn’t already seen the other boy in the room, then there would be no reason to lock Remus in with him.  “Heyyy Pads,” he replied awkwardly as he picked himself up off the ground, and ran a hand through his hair - a trait he’d caught from too much exposure to James Potter.

“Was that Evans?”  The voice came from the window sill, and when he looked, Remus saw Sirius was perched on the small ledge one leg on the sill, the other dangling in the room.  He tried not to think about how attractive the boy looked with his hair mused like that and failed miserably.

“Um, yeah, yeah it was, she- um, well she wanted us to talk,” Remus bit his lip, he didn’t know what else to say or how to say it.  Goddamn Lily and her pesky know-it-all schemes.  She should know better by now; last time she’d tried to intervene in his private life she had ended up with spiders in her hair for three days until she figured out the counter spell.  “Oh,” Sirius replied quietly.  Remus, not even thinking to cast a Lumos, shuffled forward into the last dregs of daylight coming in through the window, so Sirius could see him more clearly.  He skimmed through his mind for something to say and found nothing.

Remus watched as Sirius’ eyes involuntarily flickered to his lips then back up to his face again and his eyes widened in fascination.  Testing, he bit his lip some more and watched Sirius’ eyes darken.  They were about an arm’s-length away, but it felt further, and Remus wanted nothing more than to pull Sirius closer, but he couldn’t.

He didn’t know how Sirius would react and he did not want to fuck this up, chanting at himself not to like a mantra in his head.  He watched as Sirius frowned winced slightly, and peering down at his left arm.  Sirius moved slightly, and in the faint light Remus could just about make out the neat script on the side of Sirius’ wrist and gasped before he could stop himself.  He didn’t know why, he had already known of course.  There was just something mesmerising about seeing the words inked on his skin that made Remus’ stomach tighten with an indescribable feeling.

_Don’t fuck this up, Lupin._

In another scenario, the words would be almost comical.  Sirius let out a soft squeaking sound - which he would later deny – as he saw the letters appear.  He lifted his eyes to Remus, his breath shaky.

Suddenly, the other boy launched himself at Sirius.  And then they were kissing.  And at first it was a little too hard and a little too sloppy, but Remus pulled away for a second and looked for something in Sirius’ eyes.  And when he didn’t find it (or did, Sirius didn’t know) he leaned in again.  And this time it was softer, sweeter, slower.  And Remus’ hands were tangled in Sirius’ dark hair, which he had been growing out and it had been driving Remus mad for months.  And Sirius’ hands clung to Remus’ shoulders and it was so overwhelming.

And then Lily unlocked the door and ordered them to stop being so sappy and pushed James’ arm off when he tried to put in around her.  And James told them Dorcas had Firewhiskey in the common room.  And then they were all laughing, and Sirius slipped his hand into Remus’ as they followed their friends downstairs.  And then Remus smiled at Sirius and he felt like he might just melt and wondered how he had ever missed just how in love with Remus Lupin he was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And nobody died. The end.


End file.
